Today, I was feeling for the poor woman who kept visiting churches and never had people approach her in welcome. The phrase "This is the only Sunday that counts" is really true. How many of us have visited a church, not felt welcomed and never gone back? Do we have the luxury to be too busy, too shy, too "whatever" to not make that step toward a guest? To say it another way, who does God have but us to reach out and touch a guest who is there for the first (or second or third) time. Yesterday's scripture still hits home for me ... "I was a stranger and you welcomed me"
Questions for the day: If a "secret visitor" came to us how might we be graded??? If this is the "only Sunday that counts" how do we respond to newcomers each week?
I love the prayer for the day:
Dear God, open my eyes so I can see people as Jesus sees them, and see Jesus in the people you bring into community. Make me attentive to others, especially help me support the newcomer take tentative steps toward you. Amen
So glad we are on this journey of discovery together!
Rev. Patty
I think that there are many of us who do make sure we greet people, but I DO need to work on names. As I read the reading for today, I was trying to figure out a way to help greeters know the importance of eye contact and a hearty hello....perhaps just talking about how good it felt when a greeter does that.
ReplyDeleteHow DO people know if it is the person's first time? I have made the mistake of thinking they were new and they said they had been there a few other times....then I felt foolish...I need a few "goof proof" greetings. Anyone have any suggestions.
What's our grade from the "secret visitor"? I think "pretty good" but not great. There are lots worse, as Prue & I may have been in 10 churches before settling in at NCC. Several were surprisingly cold.
ReplyDeleteBut I struggle mightily on this topic as I know I don't do well as either the visitor or the church member.
It has been my observation that as a church we seem ambivalent on both name tags and the fellowship pad - we keep them around but don't use either.
Wow. I too felt really sad for that woman and hope that would never happen at NCC. Overall I'd give us a B+/A- depending on the week. We do really good job most of the time, but there is always room for improvement. I agree it's hard sometimes to know if someone is a first time visitor. So I've learned to just introduce myself to anyone I don't know and say "I don't think we've met, I'm Sandy." Sometimes they say it is there first visit, or else I find out they've come a few times before. These readings are highlighting the importance for me of doing that, both before and after worship. I also try to introduce people I've just met to others. Sometimes I feel kind of torn - "so many people, so little time." As an active church we have choir, set up for some function, coffee hour clean-up, and a variety of competing demands for our time. The reflection serves as a good reminder that as valuable as it is to do what needs to be done, and as fun it is to talk with my friends....This truly is the only Sunday that matters to the visitor seeking a welcoming community.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I clearly struggle with each week. As Sandy said, as an active church, there are often other things to do during Coffee Hour. I have many times found myself running in one direction and out of the corner of my eye, spot someone new standing by themselves looking uncomfortable. I try to tell myself that there is always time afterwards to finish what needs doing, and that introducing myself and spending even just a few minutes with the new person is far more important. I don't always choose the right path, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI find for myself, if I go right up to the person/group while still in the sanctuary, I am more apt to connect. I also have to admit that if there is a family group or couple attending for the first time, as well as a person by themselves, I tend to reach out to the person alone first. Whether that is because I relate more closely to them than the family group, or something else, I am not sure. But I perceive both strength and need in the person who arrives alone; and it is that which makes me want to make them feel as comfortable as I did when first coming to NCC.
As far as a Secret Visitor, I am unsure of how we would rate. The greeters are our First Impression, and we all know how we judge all kinds of places, people and things on our first impression. Some people thrive in the Greeter position, others are clearly uncomfortable; I am not sure how I would rate. It is a difficult role in which to be: giving the first impression of a church.
In my adult life I always have gone to church alone before my marriage to Chris. It was hard because I went asking God for comfort, peace and strength, and many of the churches I attended (I lived in many different towns)I still felt alone. I also felt embarrassed at times when I was so overcome with emotion that I ended up crying through part of the service; so I stopped going. I feel very comfortable at NCC and have found the "peace" I was searching for so many years ago. I think a "Secret Visitor" would see the entire congregation in small groups talking among themselves, as I have witnessed; It's a warm feeling; everyone is so friendly and appears happy to be there;adults and youth alike; and this is before Rev. Patty's "good morning" and "let the people say "Amen"...
ReplyDeleteWelcoming new people to church and essential! Shawn and I have visited numerous churches where we never felt welcomed nor spoken to. However, we have also been on the opposite side of the spectrum. I have been literally chased out of a church by the pastor just so he could introduce himself and get my name and contact information. Needless to say I have had many experiences.
ReplyDeleteIn this reading, I sympathized with the woman who did not feel welcome. After attending other churches I noticed that they had a "friendship pad". My previous church used a friendship pad and I remember my pastor always holding it up during announcements and asking everyone in the congregation to fill it out (not just visitors). I remember her doing this so that visitors did not feel singled out.
Also, while visiting other churches before leaving the church I was sometimes given a "welcome packet". This welcome packet sometimes included a information about the church, the various ministries the church had to offer, names of important people within ministry, website, and sometimes a small gift such as a coffee mug. I always thought this was a neat way of welcoming people.
Overall, I think we do a good job at welcoming visitors. I always try to approach someone that many be new, especially if they are a visiting youth. I would give us a B+ overall. There is always room for improvement.
Eric is reminding me to get back to work on a "welcome packet". Thanks, Eric
ReplyDeleteI too try to pick people (who are standing alone)out during coffee hour and introduce myself, but I also know I could do better. Perhaps more focus on looking for people alone or seeming lost, and not just coffee hour, but as soon as I walk into church.
Chuck and I are certainly big believers in name tags. I believe it's easier for new visitors and not so new visitors if they can put a name to a face of someone they've just met, even it it's for the third or fourth time.
I think we do pretty well in Welcoming, but we could obviously do better.
Charlette and I attend a lot of events where introductions are a part of the purpose of our being there (networking events for business), so on Sunday mornings I think we may be primed to meet new people. It's refreshing though, that on Sunday morning, we are not doing it for us, but for the newcomer and for a whole different reason, to welcome them. In my opinion name tags are very important but I also realize that some folks are uncomfortable wearing them. I feel that we do pretty well in welcoming but also feel that if we focus on that, we can do better.
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